Squishing Ansel

Dear Everett,


Paisle is determined to sleep on top of Ansel. Whenever he retires to his basket, tucked in by yours truly, she waits until I leave the room, and then climbs on top of him. She is now half his size in weight, though not in stature, and sometimes he immediately climbs right out of the basket. He then sits in the hallway and complains, until I go kick her out of his basket, tuck him in again, and the cycle starts all over. Eventually, he gives up and lets her stay, or gives up, gets out, and finds another bed in which to sleep.

Paisle has also shown an interest in really large sticks. Now truth be told, she is already much better at fetching anything you throw for her, than you. She brings everything back, whereas you had to be conned into returning the toy, or soccer ball, or stick. This stick is much too large for her--all she could do is get it off the ground but she was not able to move it. I'm certain that will change with time. And she's also showing your strong drive to play.

I wish I could say she has your genes, but there is no relation between you. In fact you are different breeds, from what I can tell. I don't think she has any Rottie in her, and I don't think you had any mastiff in you--but who knows. She will be a heavy, dense dog, just like you. I have hopes she'll be your size but as time goes by those hopes are fading. She's just too small at her age to reach your height.

Puppy class is going well, and Paisle is very motivated to please. She sits very well, and we're still working on 'down'. When we're out for our walks, she's learned from Ansel that once she sits, she stays there, even if I drop the leash. And this morning, she remained sitting while a neighbor went by with her chocolate lab straining at its leash to come say hello. Neither Ansel nor Paisle moved--I was so proud!

Weather permitting, I hope to take both dogs to Grand Ave. tonight or tomorrow (or both), to wander around and meet strangers. Puppy class said they should meet 100 strangers before age 4 months, and we're well past that age, but I think it's still a good idea. Ansel of course, loves everyone, so I am hoping she picks up on his appreciation for strokes and kind words, from anyone who will pay attention to him. She does not seem to be so scared of men, and I would like to continue that trend! I'll let you know how it goes.

Introducing Paisle

Dear Everett,

I have picked up your ashes. The beautiful, silverplated cachepot I picked out, to hold your remains, is too small. I laughed and laughed, and cried some too, because even in death, even in ashes for crying out loud, you are larger than life. So your ashes remain in the cardboard box in which they were delivered, complete with separate certification that you were, in fact, cremated by yourself so that I'd be able to sayI'm speaking to you, when I pet the box.

Isn't that silly--but I really do! I stroke the box when I walk by it, saying hello to the Little Girl and tell you about my day. I miss you. But I don't think Ansel does--I don't think he even noticed that you are gone. But he HAS noticed the Alien, that has arrived.

Paisle is not one of the rescues you met before you died. She is supposed to be a Presa Canario/Am Staff mix, but she's so tiny I cannot believe she has ANY kind of mastiff breed in her. She weighed 23.5 lbs in this picture, and was up to 29 the day she was spayed. She's all brindle, with a black mask, two white front feet (toes only), and such an Alien attitude. I am not sure if you'd like her, but she'd do her best to worm her way into your affection if she could. She loves anyone who will play with her, but she is afraid of men.

She was born 12/5/07, and rescued some time in February. She is by far the smallest in the litter that survived their ordeal--I met her sister the day they were fixed, and Honey--another brindle but blonde, not reverse--is easily twice Paisle's size. Paisle's a happy little thing, but she has terrible separation anxiety, just like you did. We have attended one puppy class, and have signed up to attend the series, so we can graduate into Obedience Level 1.

Paisle loves to retrieve. In all the games we've played so far, I gave up before she did. And she is not yet an escape artist, so she's been able to play 'fetch' in the front yard, as well as the backyard! But she cries and cries when I put her in her crate--the first few times she was so upset she threw up her previous meal. We'll continue to work on the "crate is a good place," but this is really new territory for me. I don't ever remember you, Kechel, or Ansel being so upset at being left! And she is ALSO not housebroken--my rugs are suffering. She is the youngest pup I've ever had, as you were supposedly at least 6 months old (with permanent teeth), as was Ansel, and Kechel was 1.5 yrs. old. Paisle still has baby teeth!! I managed to find two that fell out--one on a chewy in my hand, another when she shredded the blanket I'd stuck in her crate with her.

She is nothing like you. I had no hopes of finding your same spirit, because you are one of a kind. Lucky me, to have known you! But I am glad she has come into our lives, wormed her way into Ansel's daily routine (and his basket, his toys, and even into his tolerance--he lets her sleep on top of him now. She's been trying to do so, since the day she came home with me), and he lets her have everything, except his rawhides. Ansel learned that from you! She looks, and acts, like an Alien, hence the reference.

I hope you are well. I hope you are happy and cancer-free, wherever it is that best loved dogs go, after they leave us here on earth. I hope to see you again when my time comes too, and that you'll share your soccer balls with Paisle, who would love to retrieve them alongside you, if she can fit one in her mouth. I hope you are somewhere with Kechel, who barely tolerated you the way Ansel is currently barely tolerating Paisle. I hope to play stick, with all of you, when the time comes. You are my favorite Little Girl.

In Memorium

Everett, the Little Girl

March, 1994 - April, 2008

I miss you.

Difficult Morning

Everett chased a squirrel this morning.
But I think she has had another episode of some kind, or another stroke. She is now dragging both back paws, and her hind quarters seem to move with a mind of their own. Her spirits are up--she does not seem stressed or in pain. Even though it is hard to watch her in motion, it was great to see her chase a squirrel!
When the time comes, I will miss my friend.

Difficult Day

This is what Everett looks like when she's chasing you.
I had to rush into the house to grab the camera, as I was unprepared for she who just won't quit.

No really good chase scenes, unfortunately, before she moved on to stick.

We played stick for only a few minutes, but they were precious, fun, exciting minutes.

Then something else caught her attention, and the game was over.

There are more pictures, after her pause shown here, that are very difficult to view. She started panting, and I had a clear opportunity to snap some shots of the tumor area. All those photos are shot without benefit of viewing--I have to keep her attention facing me so I could aim the camera at her side without her attention following my hand.

Some of the jaw pictures are very graphic. I went back and viewed the photos during stick, to see if any of those showed the tumor area. Some do. It is clear that the infection or tumor--whatever is so angry red, and swollen in her jaw--is not only back but now shows up on both sides of the tooth (lip side and tongue side). I am completely amazed that tooth has not yet fallen out--the entire root is still visible at the end of the tunnel of flesh (area I have previously referred to as the Parting of The Red Sea).

Even with additional drugs today, it is clear that her day is coming soon. Please let that day be full of stick and rope and all things good for the little girl. Please let her go on her own terms, in her own way.

Tax Day is...Taxing

While I sat at the table, puzzling over all I have to do, Everett was underfoot.
I took this photo upside down, which is the easiest way to capture her when she's this close. She happily munched away on the tennis ball bone, asking every now and then to go outside.

Wow was it windy today! She did not stay outside for long periods, which is probably a good thing as several branches came down in the yard--one of them right into their dog beds. On the bright side, that's good news! More stick for play. On the other hand, good news the beds were empty and no one was injured.

Everett has started dragging her back left paw. Perhaps she's been doing it a while and with the snow or frozen ground, I just didn't notice. But now you can hear the scrape of her nails on the pavement, or maybe it's the scrape of her knuckles? The hair on top of her paw does not appear to be damaged or shortened or otherwise altered, so I am hoping it's just the nails that are scraping as she trots/walks.

She has also been panting a bit, which isn't too surprising as it's much warmer outside (high of 66 today) and a black dog in the sun is...warm. I'll be honest--I have not looked in her mouth at all. I try when I see her panting, but I haven't seen the tumor area since that car trip last week.

The last two nights Everett has been very restless (relatively speaking). She's also started digging in her bed, not the destructive way Ansel does, but as though to rearrange. I tried puffing both of them for her, in case she's looking for more padding, or nesting, but when she climbed back into each of them, her digging continued. I wish she could tell me how I can help.

Where Is My Sunscreen?

Eyes closed against the bright sun, Everett is patiently waiting for me.
Even though there is still a small amount of the white stuff in this photo, today was a beautiful day.

When I arrived home this evening, I thought both dogs would be anxious to simply lounge outside in the warm air. Not so! Ansel was a serious pain tonight, so I took him out for a longer walk without the little girl...not minutes had passed upon our return when the whining started up yet again!

Everett chased a few rabbits today--it is such a pleasure to watch her run after the destructive (but cute) little pests. I would NEVER leave her outside overnight, but sometimes I wish she could stay outside all day and all night, to guard the garden against them. She charges into the yard after our walks, hoping to scare some into scampering. We always go straight from our walks to the south lawn, and THEN into the house, because the garage entrance to the house is too tight of a corner for two dogs looking for breakfast/dinner, yet needing a human to open the door. Instead, we spring ourselves through the garage door to the yard, like runners charging out of the starting blocks. They run their race, then head for the house door where I can let them inside in an orderly fashion. So even though Ansel had an extra walk, Everett got to chase the rabbits. Overall, a pretty good day for the little girl.